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[Konstantine]

The Lanturne is derived from the Japanese haiku.  The beats go one, two, three, four and then back to one again.  The end product ends up resembling a lanturne.

Love
Beauty
Kissing you
Finding myself
Whole

[dove]

i like the shape. and the words you choice gave it even more shape. the use of the word "whole" was excellent. if you like structured pieces you should give a go at our two interactive structure pieces with the haiku and cinquain.

oh and welcome to MK! happy reading.

[Heart_OF_Mystery]

Loved the flow of the words, as well as the shape they take as they come into place. This was a very nicely written piece, and straight to the point.

[Charish]

Hi Konstantine! I liked the lanturne's ending part...the use of the word "whole". I only feel that the word "beauty" is a little out of place there. Probably something else will fit in better. Maybe the words "your love", or, "you dear". L4 can be made "I find myself". Just my two cents. Love and beauty, in L1 and L2, do not connect well there. L3, L4 and L5 connect very well. I know for this form of poetry, the poem has to flow very well and here, L1 and L2 dont connect well. They sound a little far off from each other.

Hence, now the lanturne should read:

love
you dear
kissing you
I find myself
Whole

I hope you will consider my frank critique on this lanturne and make appropriate changes.

Best wishes,
Charishma Ramchandani